via:neelam231

I was thinking I could crash early tonight, but I guess not? 

I still want to hit something badly. My violent bouts tend to get a lot more worse when I'm under much duress. I can only imagine how hard the rest of us are working, and how much easier some of us are having it. screw it.

It used to be because I couldn't sleep, now; it's because I don't have the time to waste on sleep. Usually, when I list out the things I have to do, I feel a little bit better. And at this point, I have two reports and an illustrator work waiting for me. 

Hey, it suddenly doesn't seem so bad. I hate procrastinating, yet; every/all the time, I find myself doing just that. And this week is supposed to be study break, but why oh why are we still having to go back to college to finish up assignments and hand in our final papers. AND study for finals at the same time. 

I'm so tired, but I realized I'm so blessed in many ways. 

I have had an epiphany; where I've realized that not everything that looks like a blessing is one, it could be a curse. And I must thank the Lord for that.

Apart from that, my emotional being will still hurt temporarily; otherwise, time only heals all wounds, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'll look back on this, chew on my lip and sigh saying, "You know, I'm glad that happened, because I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for this." 

Pain is all part of the growing process. And where distance is needed, let there be distance. I'm too tired to care, too confused to give a shit and honestly, too drained to even feel anything. I wish the best for you.