via: tuccineversober

If you've ever been tremendously into something that for days, weeks, months - it's the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last thing on your mind before you go to bed. How does one come out of it? 

The peculiar thing is that change takes place in the ever so subtle transition between your motivation and your independent way of facing reality. One day it's one your mind and the next, it slips from your mind. Once that starts, it's like a domino-effect of constant slipping from your thoughts, slipping from your consciousness, til you find that it doesn't really matter anymore. 

But the real change occurs when you wake up one morning and it's not the first thing on your mind. It isn't even the second thing. And suddenly, you realize "oh why didn't I think of it first?". It's presence has slipped you, ever so slowly and you didn't even have to put in effort. It even takes effort remembering. 

This is the cycle of phases, that's just it. It's not on your mind and you don't even know it. Something that was so important isn't anymore. 

Maybe it's the mind's own mechanism of getting over something. 

source: expensivelife

Minimal.

source: danielodowd

And once again, the year is coming to an end. 

I won't say it's dreaded; because it's been but long. 

Neither am I welcoming it, because I fear what next year holds for me. 

It's pretty much looming 5am and here I am still pondering over several issues. 

Firstly, what the hell have I been learning all semester? 

What the hell is media research methods? 

Secondly, how is it that when I'm at my most desperate to cram 15 chapters all I can think about is what I could be doing after my finals. 

And so, the countdown begins, officially 4 and a half hours til my 10am paper. I am so screwed. Along with my entire intake. HAHA what a consolation. 

source: Flickr / xiuxiu_sh

I don't want to be one of those girls who finds herself in yet another shop everyday. 

Whiling her youth away...

By the time she gets up from her chair to leave for the night

She realizes it's too late

That years have already gone by.

I actually had a lot to say, but given my pitiable circumstances, I have decided to splice my rambling up by more than its original size. 

Given today's experiences, i'll just put them down as nicely as my fuming self with allow me to. 

1. When in a car, be considerate to your passengers. Don't drive like some heroine-high exhibitionist. Also, it's really not that cool to have your windows down and your music blasting (unless you're smoking). We're in freaking Malaysia, I'm pretty sure the temperature's more agreeable with the windows up and air condition running. 

2. No, nobody wants to know how high/drunk you got. Face it, unless you're 13, it's not something that's brag-worthy. It only makes you look like a lifeless prick who's only fun is when he's intoxicated. 

3. Nobody and i mean NO-freaking-BODY likes to have smoke blown in their face/on their food. Just because I'm alright with the presence of nicotine, doesn't give one the damned right to shove it (literally) in my face and on my food. 

4. It's not cool thinking you're cool. Stop trying too hard, who are you trying to compete with? the only person you're impressing is yourself.

via: creativeisnumber1

Give me the world. I so long for it. 

But I don't think I'm ready for it just yet. 

Oh god, I have 24 hours til my first finals paper and I am not even remotely close to understanding it. Help. 

untitled by ana zibelnik on Flickr.

via: ercuillium

Please don't leave me alone.

My thoughts are killing me. 

source: extrasad

What's beauty but a passing phase. 

A decaying face. 

A deceitful mask. 

source: physicallysick

To breathe in.

via: todayis-nevertoolate

I find it a rarity these days to actually find the time for an appreciation post. It's not often that I'm optimistic, in fact; I've been told (quite often) that I suck the hope out of an already dreadful situation. I can't help my cynicism, wondering whether it's just a passing phase of youthful misguidance. 

But...when I take a look at the bigger picture, it's then that I see all the possibilities - the hopes, the happiness that I often overlook for something trivial and pressing. Am I not alive? Am I not surrounded by family and friends? Am I not loved? Am I not enjoying the privileges of being alive? Am I not tied down? Am I not still free to roam the world? Am I not living and breathing proof that He loves us so much? 

The past few months have been tough - but it's getting better. The more I open my heart, the more I recover from something I don't even know I suffer. They say it's something everyone else goes through once in their lives, walking in circles in the wilderness and never finding peace. I've been through it more than once, is it stubbornness, is it reluctance that giving away my own freedom? I've never wanted to be tied down in more ways than one. But when I take a look at the world around me, so much suffering and pain, so little time and tragic twists of chances - I could be taken away in the blink of an eye. Do I know what will happen after death? The uncertainty could kill me. 

I've been chasing peace and self-satisfaction, but the hole keeps getting bigger. Is not my faith reflected upon my lifestyle? No, because I'd been long drifting, too far out to hold any flame of hope. 

And now, I want to come home. Because as it is, there's nothing that's for certain unless it's in Him. 

via: programmed

He's with me each step of the way. 

And there's nothing I can do for Him in return. 

via: cherish-this

Sometimes I wonder, why do we try so hard? 

When it feels like there's nothing left to salvage. 

via: yanilavigne

When I think back all those couple of months ago when we were first introduced, I am aware of how much of a difference you've made in my life without my realizing it. It's the subtle things you do, say and show. We're not exactly what anyone dubs "close", but it's like you're a fixture in passing. When I see you in the hallways, when we have a couple of minutes here and there to catch up and talk, I'm all too aware of the minute things we have in common. Frankly, it's amusing to see such a casual friendship flourishing. I wish I had more people like you surrounding me. I'm reminded of how you sat next to me out of the blue and we spent an hour talking about all the oddest of things - it still tickles my guts to recall. It's funny to think that I quite hardly know you and I probably wouldn't be seeing you after this semester anymore, but despite that, I also realize that love doesn't have to be romantic, it can exist between two people without complicating matters. Thanks for it all, I'll miss you. 

via: m-aca

I remember, 

A lot of things I used to think were important. 

And now they're not.
It's funny how far a year can take you. 

via: springmist

What's a life but to live alone? 

I hate the fact that I like individualism.

via: prokaro

So it's not a secret that I'm not exactly a huge fan of cooking, but maybe there's a possibility I could domesticate myself further. With the months slipping through my fingers like naught, I find time passing far too quickly. I don't want to grow up, but growing up seems to bring along a myriad of personal changes and bittersweet blessings. 

I used to think of adulthood as such a glamorous thing, seeing adults do things that "adults do". I believed they told no lies, did no wrong, had no faults. How wrong I was. 

The world of grown-ups is devoid of real living, of real feeling. Such a tragedy. 

What little odes we write.

via: kissing-dyo

Something they could never have.  

Something they could never take away. 

Because he's mine to call mine.

 via: legit-humor

I've been a long time fan of all 3 CSIs since they first came out.
New York will always be my favorite.
But Miami will always have the most style.

via: illbeyourcure

The days fly by like naught. 

I still tell myself one day I'll have you. 

Oh sweet love o' mine. 

Namsan Tower, Seoul.

via: dreams-of-japan

I wonder if it's just one of those things couples do? How many of these locks still belong to the same half of the original couple. Maybe there's a person with more than one lock belonging to various pairs of a couple? Besides, although the locks remain, they will forever symbolize something else - young love, perhaps? Or failed love. 

So what if you left a symbol of your love hanging on a tower? Or being thrown into the Seine. It wouldn't matter at all in the future. 

via: rosary-paradise

I grew up in a society where people judge you base on 

the amount of likes you get on Facebook and Instagram,

the number of re-blogs on Tumblr,

and the number of re-Tweets on Twitter. Screw you, social media. 

via: wedreamed-ofparadise

“My soul is impatient with itself, as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. I attend to everything, dreaming all the while. […]. I'm two, and both keep their distance — Siamese twins that aren't attached.” 
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

via: electroheart

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear. ” 

- Baba Ram Das

Concept art by Eddie Del Rio

via: cinemagorgeous

There are people like that - so talented it's mind-boggling

And then there are people like me - 

via: electroheart

The days seem to fly by. It's already November. 

So many unsuspecting things have happened. 

 Sakura Manju (Sakura flavored bean-jam buns) by bananagranola (busy) on Flickr.

I like how cute food stimulates your appetite. 

source: carolinegomezblog

Apples - a good breakfast for the day. 

Wakes you up better than caffeine does. 

source: yufu

Pink Fridays. 

I hate having classes on Fridays. 

'

Bad boy, good lips. 

via: teenlifequotes

Why is it so hard sometimes? 

via: walking-geema

It's been so long since I've been surrounded by nature. Everything around here is bustling - lively, but lacking in life. It's cosmopolitan, it's metropolitan, but it fails to hold silence. Something that so entranced me once often disappoints me. 

Put me in a movie where an ending is an ending. 

Matcha Soufflé Roll Cake by bossacafez on Flickr.

A little bit of pastry on Thursdays. 

via: escapist-paradiseseeker

Having had a three-day sleepover with my best friend. Naturally, I've hardly gotten sleep. It's back to the up-beat lifestyle of a college student once more. Hard work (or not) and lots of attempted play in between. There's an eerie sense of silence that constantly overwhelms me. It lives inside me. I can hear it sometimes and it plucks at my heartstrings because it stirs me up in the worst of ways. 

source: lovelyasadream

Care packages are just too sweet. 

All your thoughts 

source: clamavi

So it's a public holiday, but I partied last night and today is spent staring dolefully at notes that make senseless repetition to me. 

The past week has been like a wave-ride of ups-and-downs, I'm just waiting for a sense of peace to befall me. But waiting isn't something I should do. I watch the world on its axis as they live day by day, I listen to their philosophies that make sense for a moment, but fail to mean anything in the long-run. It's a horrible cycle. Where is the fulfilment? 

source: food-escapes

Sweet things in life come in clusters. 

Almost as if they're attracted to each other. 

via: lovesouthkorea

I've always wanted to work in the capital city of Seoul at one point in my life. One of my many other ambitions. It's alright to foster these "desires", I guess; giving it's well-within practical reaches and means. It's something to look forward to. 

With that thought in mind, best I brush up on my Korean once more. 

via: food-photographs

Imagine waking up to this on weekends. 

Oh dear lord. 

“It’s hard to resist a bad boy who’s a good man.”

source: wordsthat-speak

Not everything that seems bad on the outside isn't good. 

source: minato

via: keoppu

Time for brunch with the best friend. 

Quiet days by myself. I miss those. 
It's always too much noise. Too many people. 
Too little room to breathe.