letters to my love. 1

I've always struggled with putting my thoughts into words; but I find myself increasingly compelled to do so - where he is concerned, I am perpetually at a loss for words. How does one describe feelings beyond vocabulary, beyond cognizance, beyond all that is abstract - beyond what is known?

I find myself speechless around you - there is so much I want to say, but cannot. I'm no longer holding back, I just fall short of the right words. I struggle, so much; to verbalise my feelings for you. None of these words, would ever do them justice. 

Every time I write to you, it hurts and I end up in a bundle of tears. Not of sadness, but of profound joy and a wave of emotions that rival the intensity of love, death, war and peace all together. But, I must try to.

You are the love of my life, but you don't know it yet. Maybe one day, I'll tell you. One day, I hope I get to.

****************

baby,

you are fascination in a being. you're an explosive combination of the senses - beautiful, lingering and haunting. yours are the words I want to read; the eyes I look for in a crowd; the touch I crave and the feeling I never want to leave. you, are the memoir I want to write; the memories I want to relive. and ours, is a story I want to keep retelling.

you are the space and thoughts that occupy my mind; colossal and engulfing - you make me feel most alive. my love for you consumes my being - I love you so much my life doesn't feel like my own, my mind doesn't belong to me and my heart is a person.

you are everything I've ever wanted in a person, and more. you are so beautiful, it hurts me. I want to keep learning you.

it is my greatest pleasure and privilege to love you.

yours always,
steph