via: todayis-nevertoolate

I find it a rarity these days to actually find the time for an appreciation post. It's not often that I'm optimistic, in fact; I've been told (quite often) that I suck the hope out of an already dreadful situation. I can't help my cynicism, wondering whether it's just a passing phase of youthful misguidance. 

But...when I take a look at the bigger picture, it's then that I see all the possibilities - the hopes, the happiness that I often overlook for something trivial and pressing. Am I not alive? Am I not surrounded by family and friends? Am I not loved? Am I not enjoying the privileges of being alive? Am I not tied down? Am I not still free to roam the world? Am I not living and breathing proof that He loves us so much? 

The past few months have been tough - but it's getting better. The more I open my heart, the more I recover from something I don't even know I suffer. They say it's something everyone else goes through once in their lives, walking in circles in the wilderness and never finding peace. I've been through it more than once, is it stubbornness, is it reluctance that giving away my own freedom? I've never wanted to be tied down in more ways than one. But when I take a look at the world around me, so much suffering and pain, so little time and tragic twists of chances - I could be taken away in the blink of an eye. Do I know what will happen after death? The uncertainty could kill me. 

I've been chasing peace and self-satisfaction, but the hole keeps getting bigger. Is not my faith reflected upon my lifestyle? No, because I'd been long drifting, too far out to hold any flame of hope. 

And now, I want to come home. Because as it is, there's nothing that's for certain unless it's in Him.