I apologize for the prolonged hiatus. I just felt that distance was necessary.

I need to write about a few things, to get my mind off my increasing workload. 

1. I am a walking disaster.

2. I am devastated.

3. I am chaotic.

source: sweetnovember19

I did not use to be like this, I can assure you. My mind has been really jumbled up lately and it's a mess. I never seem to have sufficient time for anything and anyone. And sometimes, I feel like I prioritize really badly. 

So the past two weeks have taught me a lot about myself and my social environment. I feel that with exposure to pain, we will grow. It's been an emotional roller coaster ride, for all of us. We've been tested - friendships, partnerships, acquaintanceships, my role as daughter and student. I've been tried. Hard too.

For the most part of this year, I haven't felt as confused as I have the past week. Initially, I was riding high, feeling like I was in control. And then I came tumbling down, almost immediately. Never, I reminded myself; should I ever allow myself to feel so affected, but it didn't work.

Can having closure just erase all of this away? I must admit, I'm still really confused. I've been talking to too many people. And sometimes, it just gets even more confusing. But I can hear myself, finally. 

I know it might sound a little self-absorbed, but I've been burying myself in anything that allows me to get distracted. I just need to walk it off and right my head back on. Somebody needs to get her thinking kicking again.