source:fuckyomutherr

Contrary to the picture, I've been feeling really cold these days. Affected, but unaffected; expressive, but expressionless; and needless to say, I'm devoid of any warmth.

My entire being in a state of numb that I can't comprehend. I don't blame anything, because it's always inside me. But I do think that it's the build-up of having to deal with looming assignments, the pressure of not being able to meet the deadline; my piano exam, impending death and the loss of someone I never knew.

I find peace in so little things these days, that every moment I get, I close my eyes and fall asleep. It's an escapist thing really, to just sleep it off. But if you must know, I don't get much of that. 

Three nights without sleep and a fourth with only 3 hours sleep, I mean...I could really die. Haha 

source:orionfalls

When I think of the future, I really don't know what to expect. I could be gone, soon. Just like everybody could be gone soon. And then I wonder why the hell am I being philosophical at 10 in the morning. It's probably just because I have to be back in college at 11 on an effing Saturday and I'm just too tired to care.

I want to be numb. And have everything muted, for now. I don't want to feel. I don't want to. I'm too tired to do anything not work-related and it's just driving me in endless circles about my own person. What happened to the girl who was so passionate about living? She's gone. Sucked dry.

Maybe she'll come back in a while. 

For now, I just want to cope with everything with a brave front on. I don't want to care where things aren't worth thinking about. So, as of this moment, none of this ever happened. Nothing happened.