source: auntybunny

I can't believe just how much things have changed. It's funny how we can talk so much; yet have so little things to say to each other. And it's funny how we don't seem to talk; yet seem so comfortable with each other. A little perplexing, yes?

I've always wanted to be dependent on myself. I wanted to stand for something I believed in and not change just because somebody didn't like the way I was. Occasionally, I'd find myself shifting unconsciously just because I was getting used to a couple of things around; but I still hang on to whatever I can grasp unto and hold that piece of me closer. I guard it.

Sure, I've never really been the study-type of person. Somehow, I'd imagined myself being artsy or just plain weird. And I was afraid to let myself go fully. I was afraid to go mad. I didn't want to lose myself, in me. 

And when you build up walls to guard yourself; you will still drown in yourself. There's just no escaping it. I can't quite pinpoint how exactly I feel when someone just assumes I'm all that and what not. I'm torn in between an image they have of me and what I really am.

But just talking to her the other day, I was brought back to the surface. I'm surrounded by lies, lies and more lies. I'm surrounded by idiots who pester me to follow their stereotyped of what's right and wrong. I'm surrounded by prejudice and one-track intentions. I'm surrounded by people, but yet; no one will really know how I feel.

Sometimes we forget everyone has a story to tell. Sure, I might not be the most friendliest of people. But at least I'm willing to give them a chance, even if it allows others to think I'm easy. Trust me, if I were easy, you wouldn't even be a question to solve. 

For those who were wondering why I was out of it today. No, I've never been like that. Yes, I do lose myself in myself sometimes...all the time. And no, I'm not going to try to please everyone.