Lethargy

via: ivygreentea

After an insanely eventful day whereby involving my heart having repeated rounds of uneven palpitations and never-ending shock, hands shaking and tummy hurting from all the laughter, I still find myself moodily sitting in front of my computer screen just because I have procrastinated doing my sociology assignment. It's due on Thursday, by the way; which leaves me two days to get 800 words done. None too bad, I must say; but even then, I could be sleeping off my exhaustion. 

It's amazing how much can change over the course of one day, two days, three days...a week. Just last week, I was feeling like shit and over the course of the weekend, it just sort of died off into a feeling of lousiness and then this week, I'm riding on the moon just thinking about all that's happened and being grateful for where I am. 

I should really start on getting my life prioritized again. I always start something and worry I can never finish it. Often, that worry leads to an action that puts me in a place where I can never finish what I started off to begin with. It's a tragic repetition. And I long to be someone who has never-ending depth, is a puzzle to decipher and is unpredictable. I hate being read, as I've expressed one too many times and I absolutely hate people making assumptions about me. Yet, it's just hypocrisy, don't you think? Even I make assumptions about other people, it's an impression individuals leave behind wherever they go, unconsciously and unintentionally sometimes. 

I'm so turned off by the world who has decided to take such a materialistic approach to life. Everything to them is about monetary value. What happened to sentiments? I'm a little surprised with the way how things turn out. Time and time again, I find myself having no control of whatever I do. And it's just terrifying how your life can spin out of control, you feel like crying and crying, and then it comes back into focus again. 

source: bemadnevernormal

I've had a fair share of drama over the past couple of years. So far, this semester has started off pretty normally. And I'm reminded how one's secrecy often tends to get one into trouble. As much as how impetuous and impulsive a person acts can determine what screw-ups they land themselves in. I regret a lot, these four weeks into the new year. But I'm beginning to think, what's life without regrets? A fairy tale that no one believes in or even seeks to read anyway.