Citizens, 

I don't apologize for the hiatus, because it's been a tough two weeks into the year. I haven't found myself adjusting to the rhythm of this new life and new year. So several things that I thought would change haven't exactly really changed just yet and I suppose it's time to get my big-woman pants on and man-up, like a real man. 

source: smexcellent-mermaid

I'm sick and tired of labels and what others think. It's really not that important. And despite how much we all say we don't care, we're dissatisfied and we're frustrated - only because we care - deep down. We just act like we don't. It's a tough life to live and it's a tough journey to adapt to. 

My mind is a constant wave of nothingness but simultaneously everything. I cannot think straight. I realize, I haven't been myself. Not this year, just not yet. Everything I do, every person I try to emulate - it's not me. It's just something I think that I'm going to become and start working on it, but it's not enough change to live up to it. 

I'm young, very young. I know that. What happens now doesn't signify the end of my world emotionally; it just shapes who I'm supposed to be and about to be. It hurts knowing something that you so hoped for didn't turn out the way it was supposed to be just because you over-thought and over-analyzed everything. But fret not, it's a long life. Nobody can really pull you down unless they mean that much to you, and this one certainly shouldn't mean anything. 

I smile, because I know I'll be better. It's not worth crying over something that never happened, or fretting over spilled milk. It's just not worth shedding tears over. So I feel, that it would best suited to say, I don't change, I learn (the hard way too, I might add). Cheers to a new start.