I've never said it aloud. And you know how I am with words, especially gratuitous words. 

I can never say them when I mean it so much it hurts to hold back. But I can't say it. Maybe because I don't deserve to, or maybe it's just because I don't have the strength to. 

But I'm mustering as much courage as I can. 

Happy Birthday and Happy Mothers' Day

You already know what I can't say.

I love you, mum.