credit owner

Hi everyone, I'm back in school...or still half of me is back in school. Urhm, it's been a long two days. With the new semester approaching and plenty of activities turning in my way; I'm trying really hard not to take another look at my timetable and scream at the amount of hours we have to put in this semester. 

It would seem like we were geniuses or in some accelerated program. Either way, I'm grateful I survived my first semester - more than barely.

With the time flying by like whoosh - I'm trying as hard as I can to keep everything I have together and stretch further for new things. So far, everything seems good; I've been constantly challenged out of my comfort zone and I think it's good for building independence. (I'm going to need it). 

As you probably know, I'm not an ardent devotee to nature and her little things or am I an ardent devotee to being under the limelight. I don't revel in attention, but I don't despise it. I'd feel uncomfortable. And I specifically don't like leaving bits of information about myself around, with strangers or otherwise. It's disturbing. 

While I feel I've digressed far from the point, I'm glad my holidays turned out that way, albeit a little unproductive. I'm glad to be back where I am and I'm looking forward to where I'll be. 

Referring to the picture above, there's a truth there. I've never really bothered with Will Smith's movies...but seeing how he makes sense here, I'll probably start paying his intelligence more attention now.

See, if I had to keep vying for your attention, I wouldn't want it...because I wouldn't feel special. Girls, after all; hate feeling ordinary. 

Enjoy the rest of your day. 

source: changetheworldlaugh

This pretty much describes how I'm feeling right now. Oh god...I can't even think straight. 

source: headlikeanorange

I can't even look at it without sighing or saying something ridiculously unsuitable. 

I apologize sincerely for the lack of updates. It would seem that term break hasn't been as leisurely as I pictured it to be. I really really didn't know I had that many readers, but if you could just carry on bearing with my rants and occasionally logically conflicting opinions, I would still appreciate whatever you didn't have to say. 

There I go again.

I've had a couple of things bugging me on my mind lately and I just felt like throwing them out here. 

1. How much a person tends to change over a short period of time depending on the amount and severity of the circumstances that affect and befall him.

If you'd ask me last year what I really wanted out of life, I swear; I would've said that I'd love to see as many things, experience as many emotions and live. But if you'd ask me that today; I could give you an even more specific answer to that. I'd really like to know my purpose. I mean, we're all existing for a reason right? And I'm pretty damn sure that I'm not just around to annoy the hell out of my siblings with my endless politically correct nagging. I'd really like to know why of all people, me? Why am I where I am and not somewhere else? What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I supposed to do? What the heck am I waiting for? 

I can't answer myself now. I'm willing to assume that many people haven't found that answer yet either. We've just been looking in the wrong place. 

2. What good friends and close friends really are.

I honestly haven't been such a 'good' friend. Due to college and other commitments, I don't seem to have much time to 'chat' so much anymore. Maybe I'm outgrowing that phase where chatboxes and Skype played an important role in keeping in constant touch. But I've grown to realize that good friends and close friends are two different things. 

I'm not a very expressive person - physically and emotionally - up-close at least. I hate hate hate being read. It's like a curse. The number of my close friends are meagre, but that doesn't matter, does it? It seems however; as ironic as it will sound, it's true. Or maybe in my opinion only.

I'm in constant contact with my good friends, almost all the time. We see each almost every other day; we talk about the petty issues in life. And when we get home, we Skype; Whatsapp and Facebook whatever each other. Maybe it's for school-work or just casual chit-chat...but we're still stuck at being just good friends.

And then there's close friends. People, whom even though you're separated by time and distance; so much so that the most you can talk to that person is once or twice a month or *coughs* once in two months, you know they'll still be there; just waiting for something to happen before they tell you. They're the ones who point you to the 'good stuff'; not just filling you in on the trivial pursuits of life. 

Finally, 3. How perceptions are distorted on the internet

Just because a person is active on Facebook, doesn't mean they 'have a happening life'. Just because a person gets many likes on their statuses or pictures; it really doesn't mean that they're all that likeable in real life. The internet has distorted many things about us. Frankly, perceptions are meant to be liberal; but it's gone to the point of being excessively offensive, to almost all parties. 

I have to be honest and say that I disagree with how people post up all these statuses. I mean seriously, do you think everyone really wants to know how you're feeling right now? Nope, seen and honestly couldn't care. I might sound harsh; but really, save it for someone who does care - because you're saving yourself a lot of negative attention. 

via: lovequotesrus; photo courtesy: dejiprincess

Best piece of advice she could've given...although it logically doesn't work that way. 

Nobody can be happy when they're sad. They could distract themselves, of course. But the void will still be there. They could also occupy themselves; but when they're left alone, it'll ngaw at them. It's never going to work. You can't escape sadness. So you'll just have to let it underwhelm you. 

I believe pretending has never had a better purpose. Don't do it for others; do it for yourself. You'll find yourself believing it soon anyway.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

source: gabsstuff

Finals are over; and I'm in the mood for some serious slacking. Sadly, there's no room for that, because as it seems, we have a committee meeting. I have to attend college two days in a row -.-....when I'm on break.

Apart from that; there are plenty of adjustments and changes to be made. And many people to see and catch up with. I'm always ready for some quality bonding and good coffee. Haha, especially with the people I love. 

I wish it'd rain one of these days. So I can just curl up in bed and enjoy the chill of the morning, before the hectic craze returns.

I miss them already. It's only been a couple of days, but I kind of miss the mischievousness we get up to. 

Well, happy holidays everyone!

I'm off to watch a movie; read a book; drink some tea; and do some writing. 

Do you know what it feels like to be 'unapproachable'? 

They don't approach you because they think you'll turn them down. Or maybe because you're all cold and mysterious, revelling in your enigma. Or maybe it's because whenever someone meets your eye, you tend to look away; giving off the impression you're rolling your eyes at them. 

Maybe it's because you never seem to care, just the way you walk; slow and draggy. And you never seem to be concerned with anything else but what you're doing; caught up in your own world. It's not selfish really - you're just minding your own business. 

But that's what attracts and repels them to you in the first place, just because. Just because you don't fit into the social norms - you don't want to keep a profile picture on facebook, you don't smile at strangers, or the very fact that you find it hard to smile naturally without a cause, you're awkward around new people; or frankly, just plain awkward when you're alone with someone else, you're quiet most of the time (they think you're being emotional or plagued by some disastrous catastrophe), you avoid making eye-contact with everyone in the vicinity just because you wouldn't know how to respond, you don't like to exhibit the way others do, you have a permanent poker-face on (they'll assume you're emotionally dysfunctional), you've never cried in front of them or have been caught looking distressed/annoyed/harried, you automatically dodge a person without even looking at them - they'll talk about you. Like a rumour, like something that's bound to happen. 

Not everyone will like you; but they'll still be attracted to you in some way. Out of mystery, curiosity or just plain envy. They'll stare, they'll point, they'll whisper. But you know what? They'll never just approach you.

Maybe they've never even bothered to consider that you're shy? That you're uncomfortable with attention and new relationships. 

Sigh, the world never gets it. But I don't care; 

Credit to owner

Let them talk. 

via the-absolute-best-posts

Yes, yes, yes. We've all been there and done that. It still doesn't seem to work too well for any of us. Why? Because it's going to keep happening, and we're just going to allow it to happen. 

So when you specifically show up and you want to talk to me. At least stick around and try to finish your sentence. I don't really appreciate being left hanging; and I try not to do it where I can help it. I understand where you're coming from and where I'm headed to; but when you start something, you should stick around to finish it.

--

I spent half my day at college in the library; pacing about, reciting anagrams and comparing notes. It's pretty last minute; but when you're in a working mood, it'll suffice. And it was helpful too, preferably if you have the right study partner. And if your study partner's an amazing friend as well; who doesn't ask questions he knows you won't answer; who doesn't push his way into your life. That's a good study partner everybody needs to have, especially when you're going to be spending so much time together over the course of the next year and a half.

"I'm game," I told her; as we talked over lunch, "Game enough to want to go headlong into this."

"Shit", she said, "I didn't know you had the guts to."

--

And just as the battle is looming large; when everyone's anticipating the opening of the doors; you get this creepy, tingly, chilly sensation that you're being watched. And when you turn around; you meet with not one pair, but several pairs of eyes; from several directions.

And you go, oh shit. How the heck am I supposed to concentrate in this exam? 

Especially if you're sandwiched between a ninja and a stoner,  who has the faultiest of faulty tendencies to turn around; constantly assuming you're his buddy - so he can chuckle at something that appears funny. 

I wasn't even aware our class was that large! Goes to show how often more than half of them skip the lectures.