via bit.ly

Everything about old-fashioned seems really personal. I honestly don't think much of modern relationships, but I do enjoy the more open and relaxed concept they've adopted. I'd hate it if I were to go out with someone who spent 90% of his attention span on his phone; or if he whistles and 'clicks' his tongue for a waiter (which, by the way; I find absolutely animalistic - you're human, for God's sake; act like one). Or if he insists on checking on my whereabouts, reading through my texts or displaying extreme public affection. 

source: oblyvian

So weekends are supposedly for some time-off, it's been going pretty well so far. Halfway through the end of the week and it's time to get back up and finish off outstanding work. 

Oh brother, I sincerely can't wait for Tuesday. 

source: fyeahbigbangtheorygifs

Bad boys...are bad. They're bad news, they're bad influences, they've got bad timing and they've also got a killer charm. They're always late, they skip classes, talk about things you really don't understand, look like they've never given a shit, sauntered into exam halls without having prepared, they make promises they don't bother remembering or keeping (for that matter).

The thing about bad boys is, they're everything you don't want your boyfriend to be; but secretly wish to tame. If you say no, you're probably lying to yourself. But the problem is, you're never going to be able to tame them. You're always going to be 'just another girl' 'just another someone' 'just another stranger' 'just another person I used to have a thing for'. 'Just another' 'used to' what the heck, really? Are you really that low? 

I don't believe in allowing others to put me at that level. It's either, mean something, stay as someone or stay the hell out of my life. Frankly, taming him is an impossible feat and the chances are close to inexisting. You're going to end up hurt, with your self-esteem disintegrated beyond it's living condition. Oh, it's going to be hell for you too. You're going to spend months trying to get over him, you're going to shed a lot of tears and make lots of calls to your best friend to whine/cry/reminisce over the things you thought meant something to him. You're going to become a mess - distracted, unfocused, disoriented, screwed - everything you wouldn't wish for yourself. 

And the worst part is - there's really nothing you can do about it, except get over him. Which as I mentioned earlier, will take a really long time.

So don't tell me I'm such a cold-hearted bitch for not wanting to be a little more approachable. That's because I don't want to get burned, so I'll try avoiding the fire. 

On the other hand, things don't work out the way you want them to. You really can't decide what's best for you, the grass will always seem greener on the other side; and you're always going to find yourself attracted to the wrong things. You're always going to get....served.

To the man who wouldn't look straight;

It was just another day in school, or so I thought. Stacking up the piles of notes I'd compiled from a lecture, I made my way to the computer lab to get some work done. Moreover for the peace from a group of perpetually warmly noisy peers. 

It's always been more peaceful in there. Maybe it's because people tend to think that it's like a brother to the library that they end up whispering instead of talking. Or maybe it's because they're afraid others overhear their conversations? 

I'm not one for conversations when I'm in the middle of working. I like a preferably peaceful and quiet environment, where my thoughts are mine to hear alone. It makes it all the more personalized. 

Snuggled up in the plastic chair, facing a screen which bore no comfort to the familiarity of my own laptop; I struggled to stay awake. The sleep I was deprived of threatened to spread itself over me. Earphones plugged in playing to music on mute just as a sign to others I wasn't up for a conversation. It's serious work, that way. 

But then...out of the reflection of a temporarily black spot on the screen; I see him. He's staring right at me. From behind. 

I don't want to turn around. No, I'd give myself away too soon. Blinking in an oblivious pretence, I falsely assume he's just dreaming; only to realize he's still staring transfixed and blinking at the same spot minutes later. Annoyed and a little irked, I turn around. He blinks and hastily looks away; afraid to be caught. So I was right, he was staring at me.

Contemplating whether to just leave the room or to sit awkwardly until I finish, I find myself turning around instead and asking, 'Hi. Do you know what the real time is? All the clocks in this room are screwed.' 

He blushes. And I avoid looking at him directly. 'Yeah. It's 2:45.' 

'Thanks.' I say and turn around. We don't talk until I finally get up to leave. That's when I say 'bye' and he says, 'I'll see you in class.'

Walking out, I felt completely idiotic for staring back at him with a 'WHAT' expression plastered on my more-than-surprised face. I was pretty sure I never noticed him in any of my classes before. That made me feel like I was turning into one of those girls in Hollywood movies who don't pay any attention to people around them. It's a sad world we live in.

I walked past him again today and he smiled. I guess it's the first time all over again, and I find it so sweet; how friendships and acquaintances develop so innocently. 

via lonely-unicorn

I've never been one for messy goodbyes or fuss over not having expensive gifts. It's really not something that I can envision myself doing. Because if you'd ask me, I'd prefer a calm and tearless farewell; and thoughtful hand-made gifts. I'd rather the privacy of a room to cry in after a particularly painful goodbye, or just privacy  to squeal in glee at having been given something whose creation took so much effort.

I'm sentimental that way. I'm also obsessive when it comes to planning.

It doesn't always work that way does it? According to plan. Nope, nothing ever does. One day, you can be planning out everything you want to accomplish; neatly laid out before your feet. It's a good feeling, to know you're going somewhere. 

But then the next, you find yourself sprawled out on the floor of your existence, feeling like you can't go lower. Just because something went wrong. And something will always go wrong. Just because it can. We have to know that it will never work out the way we want them to.

I should apologize for my lack of updates, but I find no need to. In my opinion, you'd carry on reading this only if you knew me and what I stood for or just because you're curious to what I have to say; otherwise, you'd have stopped reading what I had to say a long time ago. 

Finals are coming, so I won't be at liberty as much as I would like to be. Nonetheless, enjoy what you have now. For tomorrow, it's always a different story. 

Sometimes, I have to wonder if I have sufficient grace from God to live for the next day.

credit to owner

this piece of work is genius, if all GIFs were this clean

Often, we find ourselves living in a blur, out of focus, out of strength or weakness, with nothing left to anticipate or depend on. And sometimes, we feel like we're THIS close to breaking down. I feel that now. No, no, don't worry now; it's an important time. I need to feel like this. It's part of growing up.

So these weeks that are present, have us scrambling to get our acts together; work harder; determine partners for next semesters projects, meeting the deadlines, preparing for presentations and actually worrying about what to wear for presentations. Or in my case; to actually present something without stuttering the shit out of myself. 

Just the other day, I told my friend I could sleep well again. And I wondered if it would last long. It didn't, if I've ever felt more exhausted with everything, it would be now. Yet; I can say I'm happy? If that doesn't sound illogical enough, maybe it's because I know there's something more to expect; and nothing ever goes according to plan.

God plays with my emotions like a pendulum, I could get mad; but I know He wants what's best for me.

via tastefullyoffensive

I haven't been prioritizing lately despite how much I tell myself I have to. With all the activities suddenly pouring in like -, I feel a strong need for silence, space, peace and emptiness. But that's not always how things should go.

I find myself getting frustrated ever so easily and annoyed at the littlest of things.

It's days like these that make you want to curl up in a corner, abandon all responsibilities you have towards completing coursework, sharing in duties as part of a group, practice and the rest of the world. Give me a book, a blanket and a couple hours of rain and I'll spend it wisely.