Where Angels Fear To Tread.

source:weheartit

via:unorribiledisastro

When I told him "I love you" all those years ago, I never really fully comprehended the meaning of it. To me, it seemed the appropriate thing to tell someone you've been in love with. It didn't come out easily. In fact, I struggled with it, the fleet of emotions, the way my mind just went beserk every time his name came up, the way the words felt alien on my tongue when i practiced it in the silence of my room. And how I took two years to actually spill it out...only a handful of times. 

I only understood a fraction of the power of those words. 

Up until this day, I've never once repeated it to another guy. Because to me, the words "I love you" shouldn't just be thrown around. They shouldn't be misinterpreted for something such as an attraction, a minor crush or even an infatuation. Love means so much more. Its almost incomprehensible. Those words are sacred. they hold so much - unspoken, unexplainable, myriads of emotions and more - but they are simplified to the listeners - containing your heart, your world, your entire being. 

Saying those words, puts you out there fully. You're vulnerable. If he decides to cut through your heart, you're a goner. But you love him enough to put yourself out there - because in your opinion, he's worth it. It's such a terrifying prospect, knowing he has the power to break you down, to crush you - as if you meant nothing to him. Yet, you have faith; you know you hold at least a fraction of some meaning to him. 

There are no real reasons for love, but when you love someone; you immediately put them before you. Their thoughts, their feelings, their pain, their joy, their laughter. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever had the joy of experiencing. When you're in love, you will never have regrets; even if everything turned out wrong and not according to plan; there's no denying there was love felt. Even if you've moved on after all those years, you'd look back, reminisce over how your ability to love has changed so much, whether it has grown, or it has taught you to hold back; whether you're ready for it again - but most importantly; it has taught you to know when you're falling in love. 

8 years on and I finally understand how a person will never be able to love the same twice.