I'm so psyched. This Friday happens to hold my last morning class of the semester. Unfortunately; I still have a class at 2pm and I don't think my lecturer will see to it that we are in convenience. Given the fact that he's a little bit of an eye candy; he's forgiven; and...well, you can't fault a man for doing his job. 

These past few days have been so...for lack of a better description, ephemeral. Rather like a daze, sort of feeling. I don't usually spend nights out; but I just want to get away all the time. I've developed a rather unusual habit of breathing as well, and a rather inappropriate craving in general. All in all, I'm not too pleased with the way things are turning out now. 

So, since we are coming to a conclusion of the 11th of June, I have decided to lay it out, so that I may easier comprehend what I think and how I feel. After the events of today; I'm not too pleased with a specific person in general and I would like to specify the importance of priorities, promises and trust. 

1. Priorities. 

As a student, there are certain responsibility sets that one ought to follow. Certain disciplines that one ought to have established. And certain attitudes that shouldn't even surface. One does not shirk their responsibilities constantly with the excuses of having "overslept", "I slept through four alarms", "been dead", "so tired", "lost track of time", "no mood", "oh my god, you won't believe what happened", "I've got so much to tell you", "it's a long story". 

I've heard too many of these lines in the course of today itself. It doesn't help that said person is an extremely close friend of mine. My feelings are hurt - because said person didn't respect the responsibility she/he holds, the responsibility that we all have as a group towards each other. It would seem that said person is living in a world only filled with themself, their significant other, their wants and needs. 

2. Promises.

When people make a promise, they are supposed to keep to it with their lives. "I promise." I've begun to resent those words. I've begun to resent promises. 

If you can't keep a promise. There will not be trust.

3. Trust. 

I'd like to see us all as being rather professional. In a group, there has to be sufficient amount of trust. We rely, we look to, we look up to and we have expectations of each other based on that trust. Should you violate that trust; it's not going to be an easy task gaining somebody's trust back. 

An apology would suffice in more rare situations, but this is getting unacceptable. 

The words "I'm sorry" shouldn't be taken advantage of. If one were not able to make it, common courtesy calls for at least an early informing, last minute apology accompanied with a legitimate explanation. The words "I'm sorry" signify sincere regret over something. 

But when you've constantly pulled such SHIT since the first semester, and we've just been putting up with it wordlessly; it's getting harder to trust you. It's getting harder to work with you. It's getting even harder trying to put aside friendship for professional means. 

And with sincere regret, given the nature of our friendship; I have to put an end to all of this before it tears us apart beyond repair. This is the end of our working relationship. I don't think it will be appropriate if people who don't abide by the same working ethics work together. 

I honestly thought this semester would be slightly different. In the sense that we were so set on selecting adequate group members who would actually do the work; instead of slaving over group assignments like they were individual. But pissy-assed, cynical and twisted lecturers just cannot get out of the picture. And sometimes, by doing your friend a favour of allowing them in your group becomes the very cross we've worked so hard to avoid. Next time round, we won't be pulling any more favours. Frankly; I find academics important and if you cannot respect that, and the goal that we are supposed to work towards as a team - I don't see a possibility of us working together anymore.