The past week has contributed to putting a lot of things in perspective for me. I have come to realize several nasty brutal truths about my reality and my lifestyle - it is not healthy.
So far from the maddening crowd, I gathered my wits about me by retreating to a quiet room in a houseful of strangers. I find myself more and more in situations like these, surrounded by strangers, people who want more from you than you can give, tempting situations, suave men and boys alike...they all fail to mean anything after a while.
Locking the door behind me, I take about a minute or two to figure out what I am doing in the place that I am in. Why do I always end up here - alone, thinking when 5 minutes prior, I was the happiest girl in the room, with the widest smile and the brightest eyes - not lacking attention or affection. How is it that 5 minutes later, I am alone.
Simple, it is because I choose to be as I put it, alone.
But no, I do not feel alone. I feel empowered and even more alive when I am on my own. The emptiness from superficial achievements bug at me and I constantly relish in the fact that I ought to do something for myself. Unfortunately, too much self-searching also results in being full of oneself and self-absorbed.
In the darkness of the room, I find solace. In the quiet of the room, I find some sense of peace. My conscience clear,
"The girl he let go of in the winter is now a woman in the summer."
And that, is how we've all changed.
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