I have decided to take the recent tragic turn of events as an indicator to start blogging again. 

Take it as an avenue to rant my written feelings. 

It's over. 

We were both wrong. 

Have faith, beautiful.

Tea Time, Edinburgh (by Natalie Champa Jennings Photography)

"Though you weren't mine

You were my first love"

Lullabies - by Yuna. 

Let's all admit, that despite how imperfect we know we are; we are still constantly comparing ourselves to people whom we think up us on a scale of our own idea of 'perfection'. 

We all make that mistake. I make that mistake. And I've been making that mistake more and more as of late. 

But yet, we are loved. We are surrounded by love; all of it, everywhere. And dare I admit, dealing with it sometimes can be one of the most beautifully terrifying things to encounter. 

As people tend to say it, "Good things come and go" (like bad things). 

Like the life of a university student, it won't last forever. Those deadlines will one day be replaced by deadlines that are likened to putting your necks on the line. I will appreciate my last few years as a university student. 

Waking up in the mornings with sleep still etched into central parts of your eyes, stumbling (literally) into the kitchen and trying to fix something quick for an on-the-go meal. Parking in uni is a common nightmare shared by many students. The early bird gets the worm, that's how it always is. 

Morning traffic sees me uttering a prayer along the way. 15 minutes is usually never enough. On good days, I get a comfortable spot; on not so good days, I get an awkward spot. But all days are okay days. Then comes the 15 minutes of cardio that accompanies my classes. As if 8am classes aren't enough, right? 15 minutes of alert walking, surreptitious glancing over shoulders and running (which hasn't occurred just yet) til I get to the "safe zone". 

The adrenaline wears off once you hit your building and you're breathing immensely heavily when you enter your classroom. Be it an interesting or boring class, you'll never feel that 8am classes are worth waking up to, except on Fridays - because 9.30am is a great way to end the academic week. Yayyy! (Unfortunately), I find myself having a purposeless class at 2.30pm. 

So while I whine and complain about how my uni schedule has played out, I must also note that this is nothing compared to how it will be. Walking in Malaysian heat is still something I find along the lines of "whatever-ngehhhhh", but I must be grateful that it isn't raining cats and dogs and my car isn't submerged in the torrential rain puddles. 

Good, good. My weekend is just beginning, but the workload is also just starting. Yeeeeha. 

Have a great weekend everyone!

How did love get so hard?

When talks shimmy over to relationships, i have plenty to say on the matter. 

It isn't easy. Love itself isn't going to keep you happy, solve your problems, pay your bills and keep a family together. It takes effort. 

What if someone cared too much and the other person didn't care enough? What if someone wanted more than the other had to offer? Where it's not a crime to be on either side, it also means that the both aren't meant to be together during that period of time, no? 

Not to mention the scale of hurt a person has to go through. Would it be worth it? It's better to find out if it's worth it to pursue it early in the relationship than years down the line. Things will be inevitably more harder to put off then. 

How long will it be before I decide that you're no good for me, once and for all. 

I don't need unnecessary incidences in my life. I feel it's tragic enough to accommodate myself. How much room can I allow you to wreck destruction and havoc however you want? 

You may think it's okay. But it isn't, not to me. 

And thus, I feel I shouldn't limit myself to you. 

Wow 600 posts. Who am I even kidding? 

With plenty on my plate at the moment, I've found myself transformed into the second most studious I have been in all 19 years of my life. With the big two-oh just round the corner, it feels like a new step in advance as I step out of the doorway of my teens. In fact, the transition isn't even going to be anything short of big. 

The week having flown by in the blink of an eye, I just feel like time is passing too quickly these days. How September-December have these kind of accelerated paces. All the studying and working hard better pay off. 

And I just thought about something while I was doing some extra reading this afternoon. Why do we bother to work so hard? 

It's rather simple: we want to achieve the finer things in life. 

And what are these "finer things in life"? 

I guess it would differ from person to person. I have never been the type of person who wants more than I should have. There's no need for glam, for it's ultimately all a sham. No need for bling or 5-star things. Why? I don't deserve it and neither do I want it. Simply because it doesn't matter. 

So when it comes to materialism, I'm obviously the wrong person to be talking to.