It's a funny thing in life when you start giving up on yourself. 

I was about to give up on myself. I surrendered. I just lay there (figuratively speaking), waiting. Waiting in silence; in small hopes that great things would come my way. I didn't know where to start. I have my answers this week. Not all the answers, but they came in time...and just when I needed them. 

Over the past weekend, I did things rather uncharacteristic of me. I went on a hike; with pretty much 5 of some of my closest friends. The entire hike, was looking out for one another, cracking hilarious puns and laughing our stamina's worth out. When I got to the peak, I felt a surreal kind of peace that I hadn't experienced in a while. I felt happier than I'd been in ages. 

Over the past few days, I've been feeling happier too. 

I met a couple of people I never expected to meet. They are the kind of people I could write books about. They are poetry, beautiful messes and wonderful characters. Tragic people to encounter but wonderful friends to have. I encountered situations I never had to encounter before; I smiled and laughed more than I ever expected I would at this point in time. 

And today, I found myself actually enjoying being surrounded by a bunch of people I would never have been friends with by choice. It isn't because I am picky with my friends; but if we were never thrown together; we probably would never have crossed paths. 

I smiled when I saw a dear friend, begged him to have lunch one of these days; simply because, we haven't actually had a decent time together in almost forever. 

I realize that although I am not constantly surrounded by people; or my group of friends aren't "popular" or out of the stack beautiful; they are themselves beautiful people. They aren't run-of-the-mill supermodel lookers, but they are beautiful for what they are. They bring the brightest of colours to the palette. 

And when his best friend smiles a quiet and knowing smile at me, it is as if he is urging me to move on. Slowly, but surely. And I know that even though he won't be around; the other one will. That is more than enough comfort to have.